This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.
Today, more than ever before, life must be characterized by a sense of Universal responsibility, not only nation to nation and human to human, but also human to other forms of life.
~The Dalai Lama
220 years after the Bill of Rights was ratified, Congress passes the #NDAA bill ‘legalizing’ the indefinite detention of individuals.
Everything else you have done in the past or will attempt to do in the future has become completely insignificant at this juncture as you have attempted to destroy our guaranteed rights!
The fundamental tenants of the American Constitution have been circumvented and dismissed by your attitude of politics over principle, corruption & complete lack of leadership.
You clearly communicated via your votes over the past week that the opinion of the American People who you are mandated to represent do NOT matter.
You clearly communicated via your votes over the past week that the Constitution on which you took your oath to protect on behalf of the American People is not important when considering your actions.
You have completely dismissed educated opinions of SME's (subject matter experts including the FBI, the engineers of the internet) who have advised you of the dangers, constitutional illegality of the #NDAA & #SOPA as well as #wethepeople you have not listened. You did not even so much as miss a beat with #NDAA.
Clearly the agenda which you drive is not one to protect #wethepeople or the Constitution.
Your lack of accountability in matters: as #madoff#mfglobal#lightsquared #Solyndra among many other potentially exposing high-level internal corruption, incompetence, illegality, mismanagement, waste fraud and abuse has not been the focus.
Instead your priorities have been focused on prosecuting 6 stolen cows with drones, raw milk from an Amish Family in PA, and a hacker who attempted to deface Gene Simmons website. This is indicative of an agenda which is systemically flawed and misguided.
You have betrayed us, the Constitution and the American public.
First a question: Why they are so quick to almost unanimously and without the usual partisan politics pass this bill so quickly?
Flying it through both House & Senate...
They haven't even been able to pass a budget for 2 years.
But they can cross party lines & throw my rights out the window in record time?
Something doesn't smell right....Not in the least.
The detention, denial of due process is so UN-American (full stop) it ignores the fundamental protections (thoughtfully deliberated over MANY revisions, letters etc)
granted by design of the US Constitution & Bill of Rights.
An Example:
Susan visits <XXXX> City in<XXXX> State
The Police, DHS <insert various agency here> (violating Posse Comitatus : (before SOPA gets rid of it here's a primer: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posse_Comitatus_Act)
"think" she is <XXXX, with a completely unclear definition of what XXXX is...What is, is?>
OR may have relationship or association with <XXXX>
So they "snatch" her up to assumably PROTECT YOU (see next post for whistleblower rant).
"They" don't allow her to make a phone call, retain counsel etc.
(deny her due process:The Fifth Amendment provides in part that
No person shall ... be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law)
Detain her (Deny Her Habeas Corpus https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Habeas_corpus),
for as long as they want, (she never has the opportunity to prove her innocence)
She is denied due process, and essentially disappears.
There for as long they feel like it... That is barbaric, unjust and Un American.
Regardless of if you are an American citizen or not.
(This is what has set us apart on the International level for many years.)
If the suspect is not a US citizen deport to home country.
On what grounds do we now stand on the international stage when hikers, corporate employees, international aid workers, your college age backpacking kids are snatched and imprisoned, they disappear? Because they are suspected as "spy's" aka enemy combatants <insert that viscous XXXX here>....you, their parents, employers, NGO's argue for their release. The hikers in (Iran), the aid workers(various countries) were recovered.
Until now.
Please tell me, why would the KSA release a US citizen from their detention center when NOW you have detained their SUSPECTED citizen without any rights?
You will deny anyone who enters The US the same? Secret prisons for detention of ANYONE w/ out due process is WRONG!
So next time I travel, if I get picked up, thrown in "detention", potentially tortured (maybe raped, water boarded etc.) bcse I'm "suspect"of being a conscientious objector, spy, blonde, non believer, hiker, wrong religion etc it's OK for them to keep me detained? Who will fight for me?
They will deny ME due process, a phone call, lawyer etc because that is what happens to their citizens in AMERICA when they come here! I have traveled to many places over the years. Knowing that if I disappeared The US State Department had a good network and diplomatic relations to ensure I wouldn't just disappear and they would try to get out.
Where is that incentive the next time?
This is a complete atrocity on so many levels! This is not a solution this is a failure of statesmanship and society.
I am still raw, still bleeding a little bit every time people hate for things that simple kindness and rational consideration, respect and love should over come. Reasonable, kind people..Maybe we are all in hiding....kind of like me. Trying to heal long enough to put ourselves back into public and do something good. Or maybe it's just me...Whatever it is, it is...
I wrote this morning: I'm so done with our elected politicians, government officials spewing hatred, dividing the people with rhetoric. What ever happened to statesmanship, leadership and substance? Who are these people? I am certainly NOT proud to tell my kids that they represent us. They are failing. It seems as if we are sliding backwards into the dark ages again. Feudal societies based on false promises, premises and lack of general good will toward humanity. Do you think if you donate $ to the right cause that it absolves you of responsibility to humanity? You can put lipstick on a pig...but it's still a pig at the end of the day.
I occasionally lose my tolerance for inane conversation, conventions and actions people take about things that don't really matter...
My personal rule of seven invades the conversation... In my silence, my mind goes through my decision tree....will it affect me or anyone around me seven years from now... Life, death, dismemberment, marriage, birth etc....sigh...
Listening to people get upset about things like their eyebrows not being waxed correctly, diet coke vs. pepsi, italian or mexican tonight, the right colored shoes or that I didn't put my pencils in the correct order or straight enough become gratingly irritating and push me farther away keeping me distant and from wanting to engage with people. It is painful.
It makes me feel like I don't belong here...
Surface not substance....
I've always felt the need to help people...my entire life.
Maybe because I understand what it is to be hurt, to be alone, to feel pain, to not have a voice, to be hungry, to be happy to just breathe, wake from sleeping, not to bleed, to pull my self back up once again when all I want to do is sit quietly and not have people yelling at me or around me.
I travel....I seek....I go, I go often...My social bank is empty...from people who want me to either be something I'm not or fit into what they envision me to be....Some say I run from reality, but in fact, I am just trying to see what reality fits me best.
Why I like to be with people who just can look into my eyes and not want a thing but to see hope from the smile on my face, the sparkle in my eye...from one survivor to another...They are my gift of hope....I can give to them and them to me.... It is a mutually beneficial relationship. One that needs no words not money no pomp and circumstance only a heart, hope, humanity and love.....
I am better at playing pick up cricket in 125F in the desert with field workers from 3rd world countries around the globe...than I am sitting at a baseball game with kids complaining about not having the right shoes Prada or Adidas....
Sometimes I feel like I am so disconnected from my own kids because what is important to them is far from what is important to me. I feel like maybe if I just sit in silence from now on, they will ask my opinion when they want it. Whenever, I offer it, I just get the usual tween lip service. I'm tired, and it hurts... The little people who I love more than anything in this world have grown away from me...I don't understand video games, violent movies and have no desire to expose myself to it...I don't want to talk war, types of weapons, strategy, I can talk about puppies, animals but not about the importance of one type of shoe or nail polish for very long. (But I feel bad because, I wish I had a place to have a puppy, horse, garden) I try to involve all the kids in the neighborhood and play but there has come a point all they want to do is push my buttons...See how far they can go...I want them to be socially responsible individuals. It is a balancing act. I think they are pretty angry with me right now.
I'm not knocking wealth and all it brings...I have had the ability to do more than I had ever dreamed or hoped. $ provides the ability to do so many more things, always trying to expand and stretch both my and my kids minds.
But when you have been broken, kicked and beaten so many times, gotten up and watched others and tried to help them get something that we so obviously take for granted so much of the time...freedom, food, simple respect it is hard to digest how something so unimportant to some is so important to others.
Again I'm not judging just observing my feelings. I've been thinking long and hard about this for 10 years, toes traveling around the globe...trying to figure out what it is to be both me and free.
If I could just figure out how to make a living smiling and giving hope to our future in some way (children) I would be free....
So what do you do? After painfully watching each movement of the clock tick......breathe... tock...for the first time in your life you are helpless...not able to go in and pull him and your friends out....waiting to see if your 9 month old twins have a father....your friends are still alive?...Your world is shattered into a billion pieces...with no safe harbor in sight.
do you cave? do you cry? do you bury yourself in day to day life...fearful, waiting for the other shoe to drop?
I knew for years something was going to happen...it was in the back of my mind always. But that is another story.
Well I did the opposite, drove on....I decided If I don't stand up and live (regardless of who is at fault) then would I would rot away and get hit by a cab never choosing to live again...how...pathetic....how just wrong...how boring...that was not who I was meant to be.
So I stood up, threw my shoulders back once again and flipped the terrorist world the proverbial middle finger:
Got on a plane with the kids on a planned vacation a few weeks after.
Went to DC during the anthrax scare to visit friends.
Pushed my limits on what I believed: hired a Turkish, Muslim au pair (didn't work out, not because of her religion for other reasons) to show that it is only the loudest 1% of EVERY religion, political groups etc. that get's the major news media to cover them simply because sensationalism sells.
Sold the house, moved back into NYC across the street from the WTC center after clean up so my kids could see their dad while growing up...50k less jobs in lower Manhattan w/ 2 towers gone made his commute go from a little over 1 hour to over 2....when you work from 5 am to 9pm...not much time for anything else.
Got a beautiful apartment on the 6th floor knowing the NYFD ladder companies go up 8 floors in Manhattan. But just in case they were busy else where had the windows prepared to pop out with two twists of a screw driver..emergency back pack, exit strategy, 5 point harnesses to hook the kids to me and repel in my harness and out of my 6th floor window to safety.
Sent my husband to work with a chem-bio suit a few rolls of duct tape and thick mil plastic sheeting, MRE's....
Positively crazy to some....risk reduction in my mind.
But what I hadn't realized was.....
I'm not super woman....The PTSD decided to rear it's ugly head to raw, too close, too real once again, too much previous trauma bubbling to the surface ...
So I pushed harder: took the kids on the subway, central park, museums, I wanted them to live, breath and see everything the world has to offer....Choosing LIFE...
The loud sounds made me cringe....throw myself over their stroller hit the ground...look for every exit, egress point of cover in a room...scanning, watching, sensing everything....I'd try to calm myself and tell myself that all was ok. The noise, the lights, the sirens, the overwhelming desire to protect was exhausting....wondering if the mounted police were ok.... Needed anything...surely if I was feeling it...they must really be screwed tight.
I started to spiral into exhaustion...If this was living (which is what I thought it was)..constantly in battle mode, hyper aware,vigilance completely trying to protect the most precious things I had to give to this world....I became a hermit in a sense...in my own head...Not knowing how to help, fight or not be crying after every siren sound...hoping that everyone was going to be alright.
Trying to keep my brain from exploding...when the kids safely went to sleep....trying to sleep period not sleeping for more than a few hours, waking with vivid recollections of the past, night terrors and dreams re living the present...all the permutations, combinations...What am I missing...I must be missing something....feverishly trying to solve the puzzle....
and then somewhere around then....
I must have popped...I don't remember many things during that time....I'm pretty sure my brain must have just put itself into waking sleep mode....I try to remember...sometimes when I'm reminded it's too painful and makes me feel worse.
Every Christmas I still think of all the kids who lost parents, spouses, parents who lost kids....I still worry and feel sad for them...
I think one of the best things I did post 9-11 was to get rid of my television. At least I knew that was huge trigger in my head.
I still can't look at a picture of the towers, walk through the subway station down there, feeling like the lost souls in the buildings I failed them some how....I feel their presence, pain and my anguish knocks me down to a blubbering woman who can barely breathe....the tears flow and I can't stop them...
I avoid looking at the site..Some say face your sorrow, fears etc...I am fabulous at looking fear straight in the face doing damage control, and getting it all on track, doing triage for chaos...but what I have learned about myself is that my heart aches forever....and I'm still not ready 10 years later....
Well, I've been absorbed in mediocrity
Been hollowed by uncertainty
I've taken all of my beliefs
And given 'em up
Cause there's no guarantee
Of a god or longevity
Admit you don't know anything
And give it up
Singing, I don't know if I've been reborn,
Lived a past life, suffered in another time,
I don't know
Singing, I don't know if I've been reborn,
Lived a past life, suffered in another time,
I don't know
Give it up, give it up, give it up
Well I don't know what to believe anymore
But every now and then I feel a moment of awakening
But then it's gone, then it's gone, then it's gone
I'm blanketed by the warmth of ignorance
Singing, I don't know if I've been reborn,
Lived a past life, suffered in another time,
I don't know
Singing, I don't know if I've been reborn,
Lived a past life, suffered in another time,
I don't know
If I'll go somewhere special when I die
If I'll go somewhere special when I die
So I'll just go on living my way
There's a strength in duality
Penetrate mentality
Give it up, give it up
Learn from casualty
Don't have faith in anything
Give it up, give it up
Singing, I don't know, no, I'll never know
I'm giving up
Singing, I don't know if I've been reborn,
Lived a past life, suffered in another time,
I don't know
If I'll go somewhere special when I die
If I'll go somewhere special when I die
So I'll just go on living my way
Going a bit Jack Kerouac on everyone this week (without the drugs, alcohol and external stimulants) so no spell checking, essay like writing (not like I ever do that except in business..) but if I don't say it...I'll never get it out...I'll remain silent thinking it all in my head.... So here we go...In no particular order...Just random ruminations, feelings, things I've been stretching my mental floss over for the past 10 years. Virtual Vomit on board!
My life put in a perspective by a friend last week:
(I had a puzzled look on my face while contemplating recent events and digesting comments)
I said: Why me? I'm really quite simple. What is there not to get? Rolling my eyes and shaking my head....
Friend:
"Susan, (insert substantial pause with that curvy eye brow wiggle looking up to the ceiling that people do when they are contemplating what to say AND how to say it politely)...People have NO idea what to think of you, let alone what to do with you?...
You simply defy the laws of....well....lots of things. Really, everything. YOU are just NOT NORMAL!"
Me: Last time I checked....I figured out, I didn't have to be...Normal. So I wish people would just deal with it. (Not that I am smart) but when did normal people become ANYTHING but batteries?
My life had been like watching and waiting for one car crash after another....If there is a god/higher power etc...s/he is just waiting to see if I pull up my boot straps, figure out I still am here, a couple more scars and wait for me go at it again....Damn energizer bunny (I don't look good in pink though so I'll take the faux fur but in a nice shade of periwinkle and maybe some dark blue lightning bolts down my spine...and an Om sign across my chest instead of "energizer").... is what they call me....
So at any rate. I'm still here...I'm betting I'm not done with whatever I'm supposed to do...Maybe I'll never know...but h*ll if I'm not going to give it everything I have...skidding into home base and fighting for every last breath.
Time for Kleenex and coffee... This shit is really emotional for me...I've been keeping it in for an awful long time....
BRB (before I edit or delete LOL) NO FILTER ON....Think whatever you want....It's my life, my story and you will perceive it however you wish....I'm just me....
Trying to make sense and move forward after my life's BSOD (Blue Screen Of Death)..
Watching the walls breath, feeling my heart in my head, watching my life once again flash in front of my eyes. This time the flash is permanently etched in the synapses. No going back only moving forward.
Questioning everything, the reality and meaning of it all... Which road to take.
Moving forward with a purpose for the moments I have left.
I would rather be ashes than dust--
I would rather my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze
Lately I have noticed an extremely disturbing counterproductive trend in communications. I'm not talking about using 50 cent words, being formal or pontificating. You can say things in extremely simple language and get your point across. I always try to be inclusive not exclusive in my dialogue.
What has become of polite well founded methods of communication. It seems people want to want to one up every one. Winning the "ARGUMENT"! This is not an argument, it is life, subject to change at all times.
I'm not talking or typing to hear or read myself. I want to engage! That is how I learn. I want people to communicate from their diverse perspectives. The more eyes, ears and perspective I can engage the more closely we can tailor solutions!
Communication seems to be spinning into a degrading online name calling match not just on Twitter but in media period. A virtual acronymfest. You shouldn't need a specialized dictionary to talk to someone.
People sense hostility sometimes even invent it online. If they don't understand something or the lexicon of language they either shut down, too afraid or embarrassed to ask or go on the defensive, hackles up and strike back.
Who does this help? No one.
I've witnessed Ad Hominum Attack's across the board, left, right, etc…The crap I have seen lately is atrocious, rude and just plain counter productive to any sort of dialogue.
You can disagree with people all day long BUT if your premise has any merit, logic or validity at all you would not have to resort to this methodology while trying of get your point across. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt the first time. I even admit (G_d forbid) when I have misunderstood something and go back and try to re think the issue.
Here are the ones I've witnessed in the last 30 seconds in my feed (not necessarily a representative sample but all too common): libtard, petty, bigoted, mean-spirited, lames, teahadists, capitalist pigs, etc…..
What does this accomplish? Nothing. It diminishes positions AND makes me NOT want to engage with you. If I notice this type of conversation your conversations with me stops. It is ok to disagree. But your position is completely diminished by your intolerable unfounded attacks. You know me from twitter or my blog, or a sound bite, picture piece of media etc. You have never walked a mile with me nor I with you.
So let's find a common ground and work from there. The hasty tempers provoked by insults divide us not bring us together.
Divided we WILL fall…Together we will rise and be unstoppable.
Be well, supply avenues to understanding and peace will come. Open your mind, your heart and leave your rhetorical attacks at home.
Hoping for peace, global solidarity with hugs to the world,
I remember you, THANK you and will stand by you always.
I've grown tired of politics playing you as pawns.
I've grown tired of a small non representative nano section of my country spinning fear into hate and the majority of you and humanity feeling the sorrow.
I've grown tired of the games they are playing with every single one of your lives, well being and support.
This is not what you signed up for....fought for...and died for....
The New Colossus
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips.
"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
Emma Lazarus, 1883
America was once a sanctuary for all....I will fight for your well deserved sanctuary and peace for all. Rest my friends rest.
Written by: Phillip Coleman/Ronnie Dunn (SESAC)/(BMI)
Everything to know about me is written on this page A number you can reach me My social and my age Yes, I served in the army It’s where I learned to shoot Eighteen months in the desert Pourin’ sand out of my boots No, I’ve never been convicted of a crime I could start this job at any time
I got a strong back Steel toes I rarely call in sick A good truck What I don’t know I catch on real quick I work weekends if I have to Nights and holidays Give you forty and then some Whatever it takes Three dollars and change at the pump The cost of livin’s high and goin' up
I put Robert down as a reference He’s known me all my life We attend the same church He introduced me to my wife I gave my last job everything Before it headed south Took the shoes off of my children’s feet Food out of their mouths Yesterday my folks offered to help But they’re barely gettin’ by themselves
I got a strong back Steel toes I rarely call in sick A good truck What I don’t know I catch on real quick I work weekends if I have to Nights and holidays Give you forty and then some Whatever it takes Three dollars and change at the pump The cost of livin’s high and goin' up
I’m sure a hundred others have applied But rumor has it you’re only takin’ five
I got a strong back Steel toes I’m handy with a wrench There’s nothin’ I can’t drive There’s nothin’ I can’t fix I work sunup To sundown Ain’t too proud to sweep the floors The bank has started callin’ And the wolves are at my door Three dollars and change at the pump The cost of livin’s high and goin’ up
And the Rocket's Red Flares with Bombs Bursting in the Air....Notice 2 red dot's statue of liberty...... one above Chrysler, Printers and Empire.....I don't care if you.....
believe in this:
Or any of these:
Through:
We Need to Learn to:
While potentially wearing this:
Or sometimes I debate thinking about wearing:
In the appropriate country out of respect (or to get the h*ll out without being noticed) in this:
However, in order for humanity to survive: The Collaborative MAJORITY Must predominately think with:
I was caught
In the middle of a railroad track
I looked 'round,
And I knew there was no turning back
My mind raced
And I thought what could I do?
And I knew
There was no help, no help from you
Sound of the drums
Beatin' in my heart
The thunder of guns!
Tore me apart
But then again you never expected a girl with thunder flowing in her veins....
I will not forsake you my constitution, ...this I swear unto my life...I will fight with every ounce of energy for you as you did for me.
When I signed up at 18: I took an oath to the constitution to the United States of America. I will protect you as you have protected me. I honor you my brothers & sisters in arms.
Growing up as a kid in the mid-west I always dreamed of going to The Kennedy Center in Washington D.C., The Metropolitan Museum of Art Those completely amazing places you see on PBS and read about in school.
I remember watching the opera, symphony and thinking someday I want to hear music there! Is it better in the Kennedy Center than it is coming out of my little glowing box on my parents living room floor?
I finally got my chance to go to The Kennedy Center for Performing Arts:
First a whole lot of gratitude to some amazing people who made it happen:
Thanks to my amazing friend at KSW Connect, LLC ! Without your support (that was straight from my PBS days) made possible... Smiles!
Also, The amazing people at the Wounded Warrior Foundation. Thank you for all you do!
F. Kirk Lininger Well done Sir!
The performance:
As we stood for the National Anthem, I sang my heart out and cried (at the same part as always..."when the flag was still there" Too many memories, I would digress farther than I ever have before if we go for that one :D) as I closed my eyes after the introduction to inhale, taste, feel and hear through my entire body the beautiful music I became restro-spective once again.
They played the usual patriotic hymns:
America the Beautiful : Carol Connors (melted my senses from head to toe!) TY
God Bless America etc....
I thoughts to my self about the actual who, what, where and how those words were written and the pain,loss, hardship that the revolutionaries went through to both leave their country AND fight for some SIMPLE common grounds that the republic would hold true....
Where I was once moved by those worlds now I question them. What are we doing today to ensure those things our ancestors fought for "still ring true today".
While the performance was amazing, I was thrilled to be there and a part of such a wonderful group of people, supporting a cause I support with everything I have....
The following questions came to mind:
Why are the private citizens being asked to provide for Wonderful Amazing Warriors?
Is our Government so pathetic it is once again going to "forget" the same people that believed in that constitution and answered that wake up call of 9-11 (no matter what your believe, conspiracy theory is currently)volunteered to defend the flag that still waves? Those injured, killed, those who survive without partners, fathers, mothers etc....Like they did denying Agent Orange, or Gulf War Syndrome?
What happens to those who don't show legs blown off...those with PTSD or TBI that doesn't show up until years later.
What are the statistics on suicide? Ratio of Enlisted vs. Officer? I will never forget being told I was only a number and expendable....That attitude must change.
Are we once again waiting until the actuaries report it is in our favor to address it and then pay it lip service?
This is how our government treats its wounded warriors? Pawning off their injuries? If there is anyone more deserving of PRIORITY FIRST class treatment it is those who have served in the name of their country!
My wake up call came eight almost nine months ago...
That will be the subject of my next blog...to be released...
Until then, My kindred warriors: Your service will not go un noticed. I will not allow your sacrifices to be forgotten. The time away from your children, families, your valiant effort will not be forgotten.
I will not stand down, as you did not stand down for me. Every hurt soul I will do the best I can to make sure you are never lost, forgotten or anything I can do to aid in your effort.
Let me make this CRYSTAL clear: The way the United States Government both protects our warriors and our VETERAN POPULATION AS a WHOLE must change.
Yes, I am very good at decompressing very complex subjects into very simple ideas that anyone can grasp.
Yes, I am a professional.
The questions begin HERE:
Why have we become as a society so incredibly polarized. Always passing judgment-putting people into pretty little boxes. It is truly stifling for any human.
I feel like I am living in the 1930's in Germany. The rhetoric is the same. The tone is the same. The actions are quite similar. Why are we allowing history to repeat itself?
Here are just a few of the patterns I see:
The hate spewing polarized religious groups actions are astonishing.
Tell me please: The broad based generalization that I hear so often: ALL Muslims are Terrorists. That goes into the IGNORANT myopic view file. AKA, why the rest of the world thinks the myopic view that ALL Americans are bigots.
(I know many people that represent that statement. It is sad in 2011 it still exists. Funny thing most people would think (generalizing once again) that I'm making a generalization about people from Mississippi, Alabama.
I’m actually referring to a conversation I had with a very prominent person in the Washington Elite crowd last week that left me positively floored. This person proceeded to pontificate his supposedly well versed knowledge of the globe. The specifics included HUGE generalizations about the entire Middle East, the entire continent of Africa (there's lots of difference there between countries and a HUGE amount of space to be able to make a blanket statement such as this).
I winced like I was being slapped across the face throughout the entire conversation....It was incredibly painful to have to endure. I swear I felt my jaw hit the ground floor 12 stories down to the street. When the said individual was finished blowing his hot air.... accompanied by a big exhale of finality, every one was rushing as we were all uncomfortable and madly trying to change the subject. But interestingly enough: NO ONE told him he was a BIGOT...Call a spade a spade. Especially when it is that clear.
Instead of changing the subject, I asked one simple question, which was: " Have you ever been to the Middle East, Africa, Asia etc?" My point was well made and coherent when the answer that came out of said individuals mouth was: that the only travel undertaken was to Canada and Italy. I barely could conceal my smile nor could others. Why do people think they innately have the right to generalize things about humans they know NOTHING about!
Unfortunately, the media exploits this. Giving the few the extremist groups a nice chunk of airtime. Replay, drama, sex, violence, sensationalism. (Goes into why I don't own a TV and could care less about mainstream media, it all has a vested interest: like pumping up air time costs during elections sky rocketing campaign costs benefiting a few (not the one's that are truly in need) but not the whole....
They think "we" aren't listening, seeing, and digesting. But many of us are not tied into a sitcom, PS3 or Movie) it’s really a sick cycle of people too tired to engage. Overwhelmed and over stimulated to the point they want to just check out.
Since when did dissent become un Patriotic!
That is what this country is founded on! FREEDOM! Free speech! BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS to choose whom you love, marry, talk too, associate with, pray or not pray too. (Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson thought that organized religion destroyed more than it helped individuals...I just learned that this week) Here is a very nice wiki regarding the relationship to religion and founding fathers: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Founding_Fathers_of_the_United_States ~Thanks Alan for finding that one for me!
I've been reading lots of historical biographies lately. Eisenhower, JFK, Benjamin Franklin, etc.
I've been trying to grasp the who, what, why, where progression of why people fled Europe and came to America. When, where, why is it that we have completely lost our way. Try to put some sense of semblance to the chaos of hate, war, greed and judgement that my homeland has become. Looking for hope in reading history. (Yes that was a broad statement but if you knew a bit more about me perhaps you will open your mind and understand)
We have become quickly deduced definitions....Become tied to lexicons of language...One man's definition of what "is" is....Is another's quick rational on what he meant with a pre-programmed response sound bite response, instead of a question. Instead of returning with questions to try to understand intent, basis, perception of speakers meaning.
We are not engaging one another in an actual dialogue. We have pre-programmed ourselves into polarizing arguments based on assumptions and I find it positively deafening to deal with. It is almost like everything has become about winning....not about solving the real issues.
Shout out to NY for passing the Gay Marriage Bill
I don't care who you sleep with just as long as you are consenting....I don't have to share a bathroom with you! Quite frankly I don't want anyone in MY BEDROOM either, unless invited of course!
Since when does my private life need to parallel my profession? Just asking....All this grief about Weiner (his wife needs to deal with it, poor thing, how embarrassing, UNLESS of course she is consenting and doesn't care...so be it it's her husband)....
Just a question: If President Clinton would have just said “yes I cheated on my wife [let him deal with it at home) instead of denying it: How would our country have benefited? If religion/political party line ignorance had not come into play what could have happened positively?
Well, the way I see it (purely pragmatic of course) for one my tax dollars would not have been wasted on a defense team that was completely useless except to confuse truth with political opinion poll manipulation. Thus millions hours of time (Time=$$$ Learned that on Wall Street) of important people in DC and the country, congress etc …Wasted hours and $$$ spent on trying to prove innocence instead getting to the business at hand!
We would have been much better off with out the circus...but sex, sensationalism, dwelling on the unimportant, red herring to what is really going on (that is a h*ll of a lot more important than what the definition of what is, is..)
I digress again.
I AM a unique, exquisite DNA specimen. I have a unique set of beliefs, gleaned from many experiences that shape my perception. That said, I know I am not always right. This always seems to lead me to un chartered territory (none of it illegal in this country, but if I lived in an austere dry county in KY and wasn't a baptist I might be in trouble) that the majority of people can not even remotely comprehend.
Enough of the mud-slinging PEOPLE! Let's get on with LIFE!
It's my life! I will explore it however I choose, with or without your permission...because I believe in FREEDOM! I hold it very very dearly to my heart.
The litmus test is the following for me before I potentially engage in something:
Will my potential actions hurt any living being---> IF NO--->
Will my potential actions cause undue expense/hardship to others?---> IF NO--->
Will my potential actions help humanity evolve from my silly mistakes? (most are too fearful to undertake)---> ****IF YES***--->
THEN lets get it on! If it's not me than who will it be? Change is not easy, but I was born to look fear in the eye and say: "What of it, your on!" Nothing (absolutely nothing) is impossible.
It seems we have become afraid of EVERYTHING we don't understand!
HOW CAN YOU LEARN IF YOU DON'T TRY!
Life is a LIVE real time lab experiment, not a sterile test bed of safety. Complete with pre programmed mathematically calculated outcomes modeled and proven in S-Plus (Don't forget the multiple clinical trials! With the skewed statistics adjusted based on brand preference).
We as individuals seem to be so overwhelmed by the complexity of everything in addition to complete overstimulation we need drugs to calm ourselves. I found a funny thing today on FB: "In the 60's people took LSD to make the world look weird. Now people take anti-depressants to make the world look LESS weird." When did being different become so unpopular?
Over stimulation excetera used to make it difficult for me (personally) to even care what I order to eat at the end of the day! I'd just look and say: "whatever, has no sugar, meat and is a complex carb" Which of course has been WEIRD until just recently.
Let me expound:
Me
Just one example of how completely un attached we are to truly understanding the individual human as an exquisite creature of uniqueness.
What do most people know about me:
I LOVE great shoes!
I LOVE to laugh. I rarely raise my voice. Most people cannot even begin to grasp a day in my wonderfully crazy life. Occasionally, it is tiring being me. Today, I am tired. I'm sorting out the reminents of stuff.... at one of my storage spaces (I have stuff all over the world)
BUT I found my SHOOOOeee collection! So very HAPPY! So I can wear these:
But I also LOVE THESE:
Does it mean that because I wear picture Number 1 I can't wear picture Number 2?
As long as I don't wear picture Number 2 while speaking at this:
About THIS:
With an amazing man like this:
I play a part in the IT world, on the world stage. I do it well!
It's one of the few things in life in which I will open my mouth and throw the BS flag if... you try to pull one over on me....
It is NOT complex; it is 1's and 0's at the end of the day..... On and Off...Logic Driven.... You control the risk, you control the 1's and 0's. Control the gate, input, output, ON & OFF!
Whatever mistakes you make, learn from them, try desperately NOT to repeat them and EVOLVE!
Don't get caught up with people telling you what you should be, could be, if only you were a certain way.
I tried that. All it did was provide me with a ton of grief, a divorce and feeling like I was inadequate all the time. Not good or productive.
What have I learned? I'm me...for all that I am and all that I'm not.... I do IT.... I refuse to pretend to be something I am not.
I will not tell you something because it's the thing to do.... I will tell you the brutal truth...Always in business.... Though, I can soften it up for my personal circle...
I don't like social ladder climbers. I don't care what your bank balance says, your title, or what car you drive. Do you have something worthwhile to contribute to this world? Let's go! I don't fit into your pretty little box of who, what, why, where and how and I don't expect you to fit into mine.
I enjoy studying things I don't yet understand and questioning things I think I might understand. I have a voracious appetite to read, learn and digest anything I can get my hands on!
That said, I do NOT believe in the premise you need to sit in a boring lecture hall, pay several Thousands of $$$$ and owe crap loads of $$$$ in student loans to learn it. Go to your library, pick up a book, kindle, IPod, get your hands dirty and above all try!
I don't really care if what I am learning makes sense to you.... It makes PERFECT sense to ME! I also don't feel the need to prove that too you! I can't control you OR your thoughts of what is important....but I CAN control me :D (More on my theories of control in another post).
Example, many years ago I decided that I would teach myself to knit (Before it became retro fashionable like it is today). So I started reading books, bought some cheap yarn and knitting needles sitting on the subway (which was also unacceptable. But waiting in traffic in a cab was considered an "acceptable" waste of time... go figure that one) giggling at myself when I screwed up and the socks looked hideous.... Which was no big deal at all it was cheap crappy yarn and I was having fun AND being productive.
The most difficult thing for me was when people who thought they could just chime into my little knitting gigglefest and say, "Well what are you doing that for? What a waste of time? That's pathetic. Or my favorite: People here don't do those sorts of things, we hire people to do it...." BARF!
That's when I read Feynman's Book: "What Do You Care What Other People Think?: Further Adventures of a Curious Character" and stopped caring what the masses thought and just did my own thing.
Sometimes I don't like to wear make up...
I wear heels as well as combat boots, rock climbing shoes and Vibram 5 fingers.
I enjoy getting dressed up in a ball gown getting all prettified, but not all the time.
I can look like:
From a kid as THIS:
Or In College as This:
Or Painting India Colorful during Holi as This:
Hanging with my friends in the desert looking like this:
At the end of the day, I am still the same person inside...I just changed clothing to adapt to the situation and LIVE!
I enjoy silence, I don't mind being alone inside my head, and I need silence to digest all the world has to offer.
I love to ski, (all kinds) surf, rock climb, ride my bicycle, swim, smile at people, would enjoy a nice opera in Vienna someday.
I love AC/DC, DJ Tiesto, everything but hard core rap just as much as I love Beethoven. I live through music, art, feelings and my heart.
I survive in a modern world through my JOB.
I love animals, kids and the elderly because they are a lower risk level threat and an easy personal puzzle after a long day at work. Work is where, all everyone wants to do is argue with one another, stab you in the back, try and make you look bad and whinge about rather mundane things.
I GO to Burning Man Whenever I can! (no, I'm not a Hippie (although I like most "hippies" and they everyone has something interesting to contribute no matter what they look like) or a person who does drugs). I go to restore my faith in the HEART of the Gift Culture and meet with some of the most interesting dissections of humans from around the world..... I go to be inspired by people who can create something out of nothing or something out of what most would consider JUNK. Burners are people who continually give back to a society. The same society that tries to put them into a box as something UNUSUAL!!!! Scary!!!! Unknown and Different!
One of my favorite video's I am thankful for: Thank you to Apple, Inc and Steve Jobs (although Steve after reading the what you are doing for the GOV I am a weeee bit concerned about " Who is your Caesar” Than I ever was before.... That will be the subject of another post) I share it (thank Gd for YouTube) with people who I see struggling with the same things I struggled with for so long.
I AM ME: I found this thanks to one of my interesting trumpets of interesting things in #140chars of TWITTER: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you won't deserve me at my best." I don't know who wrote it...if anyone knows let me know so I can give gratitude where due!
Loving vibes of acceptance, love and global solidarity to all!
Your Nomadic CIO....Traveling with her toes....Sometimes covered or not...
Provided Live Real Time 24 Hour Coverage of Iraq, Afghanistan, Sudan, Libya ETC. (Like they did during Vietnam) on Television, Radio, Newspaper?
Do you think the American population could deny the atrocities that are happening 24/7 around the world?
Do you think they would so readily sell arms, souls and soldiers for hire?
Do you think the military-industrial complex would continue to thrive?
Once the population figures out that WAR does NOT come with background music like in the movies and it is truly as ugly as it gets (NOT like in the movies where the good guy gets kissed by the girl etc...with background music) they would NOT be outraged and think twice about the politicians, companies and agenda of those making the decisions?
I for one, without 24/7 feel like puking at least 3x's per day when I think of all of the humanity, veterans and lives..
The game must stop. The time is short. There is NOT an off button.
Please, I beg of you find your conscience...before it's too late.
I have been sitting here silently measuring my words carefully and living in fear. For eight long months....
Truth = Power
in the current climate:
Power FEARS Truth
Data Doesn't Lie People Do
If I remain silent, I am not serving my country or humanity well.
I am one. But I refuse to live in fear anymore of what potentially could happen.
"Here in America we are descended in blood and in spirit from revolutionists and rebels - men and women who dare to dissent from accepted doctrine. As their heirs, may we never confuse honest dissent with disloyal subversion." Dwight D. Eisenhower
This is my act of civil disobedience. I will not let others be harmed because I was in fear. There are no protections for people like me in this world these days. Let them do whatever they wish to do...Truth will prevail in the end. I hope I am here to see it.
"There are two enemies of the People: criminals and the government. Let us bind the second with the chains of the Constitution, so that it does not become the legalized version of the first."
--Thomas Jefferson
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Many Tweetizens are asking my opinion regarding the: @PrimorisEra "scandal"
So fortunately I was off line for a long Easter weekend retreat in the middle of nowhere:
I have looked at the tweets and DM's I have personally exchanged w/ PE and others and wonder only from (MY uneducated outsider perspective (A.K.A. I am not an ANALYST) what if anything could have been construed as “fishing”. But then again I don’t claim to be qualified to make that decision, as I do not have all of the facts.
How I categorize tweetzens:
Levels of trust:
Lots of people follow me, I follow lots of people. Why?
• Not because I inherently trust them
• Not because of who else they follow
• This goes into the WTF file: because of what their pictures look like.
I learned from the jokes of the 80’s about the fat old 45 yr old on the end of the phone for the 1-900 phone sex lines.
o (Side Note: For those of you wondering YES: those are my actual legs. (It was the first time I ever was bold enough to get RED toe nail polish put on my toes so I mark it as a monumental bold act of bravery in a pretty little boxes world, I’m trying to write a book called Tales of the Traveling Toes)
• I follow people because it is both fascinating to watch the conversations from around the world and connect with people (real or not and engage in conversations, dialogues and learn new information to process into my grey matter)
If you do some analysis of who I engage with: It is across the board. I listen to political banter from all sides…. Sometimes I retweet someone not because I agree with him or her but to engage the opposition to engage back. The truth is always somewhere in the middle and I don’t expect to derive it from a twitter conversation. But I do learn many things about the world and what drives the rhetoric, passion etc.
I enjoy joking around with people. Life is too short not to enjoy good bantering back and forth.
I don’t watch TV so I don’t get most references to movies or TV sitcoms. So you won’t get much babbling about that from my side.
I have a passion for learning about everything, anything, people, places, things, science etc. I actively listen to all things.
I can side by side look at the US news, Al Jezzera, RTI, Breaking News, News aggregating sources from around the world and watch the spin on the truth…Who portrays what how and how the flow changes based on location, vested interest etc.
I have trusted agents (meaning people I know in person) but how do I know their 16 year old isn’t typing messages or someone hacked their account.
So I really take everything at face value and don’t base any long-term meaningful decisions on what I read, digest on twitter…. It’s freaking #140 characters….
I get some great articles to read about, cool blogs I would have never found on my own. Cool people I would have never had the opportunity to actively listen to from everywhere.
Everyone is EQUAL AND has a VOICE!!! THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL THING!!!! If you can write #140 who the hell cares if you are a shoe cobbler from the middle of Africa or an untouchable in India. We ALL have a voice!
I believe EVERYONE has something interesting and worthy to contribute to the universe. A different perspective.
Listen & stop judging and just maybe you might hear something that resonates with you…. from a sheepherder in southern Spain….
Who knows…? But just maybe…that is pure beauty!
Once again I digress (I’ve been meaning to write about this for awhile so Ill digress any way I want…. But WTF this is MY blog and I write it for me and no one else so if you don’t like it and things are misspelled don’t read it):
So PrimorisEra:
Maybe she/he is a 50yr old man? Who CARES! So what! Everything I have seen says smart conversationalist about things I am interested in, patriotism, freedom, a different perspective than is put forth from the PAO office, witty, multi lingual, fun not your usual boring MDA conversation.
Which brings forth the Security aspect of twitter
My personal risk assessment from my own experience:
o If after taking the REQUIRED INFOSEC online courses (which you must take in order to get your CAC card for a log to a GOV computer)
o You still fall for the femme fetal, Nigerian trying to get money out the country (email scandal) MLM crap and actually give someone your Identifying information: name, social security info, position of which anyone in ANY position in the military knows you don’t do even out at a BAR! I used tell people I worked at K-Mart for god sakes…. and that was when I was 18 and in a sensitive position. So I highly doubt that any career gov person would fall for that old trick.
o You must have rocks in your head. If you are in a sensitive position of National Security and gave out that information then perhaps you should re assess your choice of a career. Common sense prevails.
If someone does approach you with that kind of DM: The protocol would be to IMMEDIATELY report it to your IAM. They pick up your machine for potential spillage. End of story.
As a counter point I offer the following questions open for dialogue:
1. What level of both personal and professional responsibility do the individuals that brought forth the accusations of PrimorisEra being a “honey pot” out in public domain have to protect someone in a potentially sensitive position. If in fact PE is in that position.
2. I think the appropriate response would not be to shout to the entire Twitter Community and go viral with it…. (The same as many people re tweet stuff without fact checking) but to alert your IAM, supervisor etc and have them circle the counter espionage people and draw her into an engagement to figure out what information the “potential honey pot” was seeking (keep your enemies closer) and draw her/him/them into our own honey pot of sorts. As I will state again this is just a common sense thought off the top of my head. Maybe the actual protocol is different and I am completely unaware.
3. When I was placed in the same line as that w/ PrimorisEra: All I could do was respond with a LOL to it because I thought you can’t be serious…LOL and blew it off.
Now that said I am not a lawyer or a federal employee but:
I also propose these questions:
1. Could being called a “honey pot” information gatherer be construed as libel and damaging if it is not true? What if in fact she is who she says she is? Could her career be ruined?
2. Could the act of releasing their name into the public domain be just as damaging for our national security?
3. I believe and may be mistaken please let me know if I am: Outing (looking up someone information on the GAL/JPAS on a Government computer if in fact that is how the information was obtained by the individual/s) and releasing a gov’t employees name in a negative way and placing it into public domain could this also be construed as misuse of a gov asset.
4. I would add the following to the above statement: If it was from JPAS and this is true, how secure and closely followed are the policies of the IAM? I personally have never known any contractor to have access to JPAS. It has always needed to be a Federal Employee not contractor. GAL yes I can see that being a possibility.
I know the drama loving American Populous loves a “good scandal” for god sakes there is more US news coverage about the royal wedding currently than the atrocities that are occurring in the Middle East, Africa, and Japan etc.
We seem to have lost our sense of what is important in both reality and virtually…(side rant)
If in fact there was some form of national security breach let the people who do their jobs (that specialize in this) figure out what strategy they wish to employ to deal with the issue at hand. It is certainly not something that can be hashed out in #140.
So to close: I have no real opinion, just questions and trust that the appropriate people will deal with the issue if there is in fact any issue at all.
