My Brain is Full of Rocks, Mountains & Dirt.....

As I sit here in the sun, reflecting on all that I have done, seen and am currently stumbling into....

Im thinking of my birthday this year:

Walking through airports, boarding planes, fielding phone calls, barfing out revisions on documents & emails… Sounds dreadful?  Well…. it was one of my best birthdays in my years on this planet.

I woke up to hugs & breakfast by friends circled in happy energy….And even though I was physically disconnected from my friends they carried me along my journey with chirps from Twitter, Text Messages & Emails right next to me all along the way…Unexpected completely spontaneous fun...

I am a fortunate woman to have surrounded myself with  "people" in my little part of the universe that provide unconditional support & energy.  

I stand on the shoulders of giants…. We are all unique pieces of the big village puzzle. When our synergistic talents are combined and positioned in the same medium.... white flashes of lightning streak across the dark sky. It is an amazing feeling to know that so much good in this universe exists, fights and drives on...

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. 

~Richard Bach

I love rocks…. I've have an equally polyamorous relationship with the mountains as I do with the ocean.  I make love to the mountains as much as embrace the ocean with every inch, cell & energy of my being.  

When I push, When I stretch.. the current confines of Susan's world mentally & physically pushing past what is considered "possible" is when I am happiest.  I wonder if their is a "job title for something like that" LOL 

On this adventure I finally got my butt kicked back into the arms of my long lost lover.....The Rocks.....Feeling my lungs fill with hot 110+ desert air inhaling, breathing, sweating, tasting the heat, pushing, feeling the tug at the muscles that had long been asleep.

It always becomes clear when I push….  

In -15  sunshine….My ski's itching to drop off piste (it's that  Oh C-R*P Moment Where I squinch up my nose &  eyes with a big huge smile spread and my eyes sparkle….and I push over the edge) 

I smiled suddenly knowing that "this" is only the beginning…. Only the very first drop of a taste of what lies on my road ahead… My heart and energy was full of light and love.  I'm calm & smiling, as if the winds of life have finally blown back into my soul full force CPR and the blip is back on the EKG machine, stronger than ever…. 

Thanks Rolex... For kicking my *ss back to where it belongs.... Pushing the limits...

Letters/Conversations with My Dad #1

Dear Dad,

Im bursting with excitement that you made it to Alaska ;-)

I only wish I was there to share in the excitement and see your eyes sparkle with your first amazing sighting of various wildlife.... The birds catching thermals soaring among the beauty in natures quiet paradise....

It's been almost two years since Mom's passing.  I remember looking you directly in the eye at the funeral and what I said... I'll paraphrase what I said once again:

You have worked every day of your life... Now, You are completely free.

So what do you want to be "when you grow up"? What makes you happy? Do you know?  Have you every had the opportunity to find out?  What did you dream of doing when you were a kid.... Do you want to visit the pyramids? See the Eiffel tower? Do you want to run for president? Sit by a lake in South America? Go to college for something random you wanted to study but never had the opportunity to delve into?

Whatever, you decide to do, however, little or grand, I have your back Dad. 100% and will support you whatever your adventures in life morph into over time.

One of the (many) greatest joys in my life was spending time with you in DC after Mom's death and finally showing you "my world" watching you smile, drink in the atmosphere, participate & enjoy, learning about your daughter and experiencing her friends..... It was a simple as that... and it rocked (Thank you for that moment)

You have done an amazing job 2 years into this new adventure.  YOU have traveled AND gotten a passport!!!!! ( <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 can't say that enough)  Seeing you thrive, dream and experience brings me great joy.

One of the better early birthday presents I've experienced was yesterday... Just hearing your smile on the phone ;-)

Keep it up.  We/you have soooo much yet to feel, taste, smell & be in this life!

Love as always your daughter,

Susan

Fireworks & Fourth Of July For C&S

Many moons ago (In my other life as Great Grandma used to say) I lived in a fabulous NYC apt in which every window overlooked "The Lady With The Fire" (AKA The Statue of Liberty ;) It was magnificent and every Sunday the Queen Mary 2 would sail down the Hudson River.  


My kids had THE most spectacular time watching "the boats" parade by the floor to ceiling windows.... EXCEPT there was one problem: 


Fireworks... Thrilling to most kids... but my kids at that age didn't like the noise & light.... So I improvised and came up with a pretty darn good/easy solution... and I wrote about it for them years ago so they could share it with their kids some day ;)  


Fireworks For S&C:

Fireworks are noisy

Fireworks are bright

Fireworks surprise me

Always in the night

The first time I saw them

I got scared and cried

I called to my mommy

So here's the plan we tried

The booms and the flashes

felt like thunder and lightning

she bought us sunglasses and earplugs

and pinky swore that all would be right

In our big snuggle chair

My Mom held me tight

We cuddled up close

And I felt allright

Fireworks will be noisy

And they will be bright

but now they amaze me

with so many pretty lights

So I took out my "mickey mouse ears" I used at the range, bought 2 pairs of kids sunglasses and sat them down between me in my double papasan chair with pretzels and milk and the rest is history...

For you S&C you are my sun, my stars, I love you more than the universe & up to the sky.... Googolplex Infinity (Yes, C&S I know there is nothing bigger than infinity... I just still like to say it that way) Love, Mommy  

What happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence

Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the 

Declaration of Independence ?

• Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died.

• Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.

• Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured.

• Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.

• They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.

What kind of men were they?

• Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists.

• Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated.

• They signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.

• Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by theBritish Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.

• Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly.  He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.

• Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

• At the battle of Yorktown , Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.

• Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed.  The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.

• John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying.  Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished.

So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.

Remember: Freedom Is Never Free!

I hope you will show your support by sending this to as many people as you can, please. It's time we get the word out that patriotism is NOT a sin, and the Fourth of July has more to it than beer, picnics, and baseball games.

Via Ladee Texan By way of BR

4th of July: Independence Day

In honor of 4th of July: Independence Day

She was revving up Independent, Irreverent Engine's at a very early age......

"Caged birds accept each other but flight is what they long for."   

~Tennessee Williams

If Susan was born in many other countries or at any other time in history: 

"she would have been killed off, jailed, traded out, sent to an orphanage for ill behaved, gender maladjusted children by the age of 6...." 

That age has now been unilaterally revised by friends with the addition of the above picture to the ripe old age of 4 MAYBE pushing 5 ;)  Cause girls don't do stuff like that... 

"True freedom is tolerant. It gives people the right to live and think in new ways."  

~John Twelve Hawks

So in honor my Independence & Freedoms granted by The blood of my forefathers: 

Here is the Text of The Declaration of Independence" which I hold dear to my older but still irreverent heart:

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

~ <3 A GRATEFUL DAUGHTER OF AMERICA

Thoughts for today....

Reminded once again... Thanks MB :-)  I am grateful for all of my amazing friends and so many other things in my life....

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

 

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

 

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

 

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

 

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

 

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

 

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

 

Max Ehrmann c.1920

...: Part III

Breathing life once again....
Pieces of the past, new pieces of the potential future come forward bringing themselves in the present....
Learning from the fabulousness, love, those who have surrounded me and just as much if not more from  trips, falls, mistakes of the past that will shape the moments forward.  Feeling lucky, grateful to have the opportunity to be here and move forward.

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu

Time to Return

After a long deep pause

After a long deep pause...

Sitting semi-sheshin in the woods...

It is time to re emerge from the quiet reflection of my introverted self...

I've been preparing to "Open up my suitcase" and share many of the things I have been guarding while reflecting...

My friends: bring out the Champagne Glasses & Sky Diving Equipment let's collaborate and share once again.

Thank you Susan Cain for eloquently explaining "me" to the "whole" so I don't feel the need to uncomfortably stutter through why I am who I am... You rock and thanks for opening up your suitcase ;-)

When Fear Is Not An Option

If you knew you were covered in fresh steak and walking into a cage filled with lions....

If you knew your life would never be the same.. 

Would you step in the cage?

If you still had a heart beat when "it" was over...

If "it" was ever over..

Would you give it all away?

Would you take a stand when everyone is sitting down... and tells you not too?

When they tell you, "You need to be quiet, sit nicely, play the game, be happy with what you have"...What about your job, what about your life, what about your stuff... Or...

Self Preservation?

If you knew it was the right thing to do...

You stand...Because fear is NOT an option... You stand knowing that if nothing else (even you) is left when the dust has cleared... Not one thing... 

You and whatever "spirit" belonged to you did what was right...

The moral compass points me home...

My life was only worth living if it is an honorable one.

War is Ugly...The On /Off Switch..Random thoughts

I'm trying to digest and understand a few things this morning one is :

Photos of soldiers w/ dead people.  Yep, I agree it's not a pretty sight.  Not something I want to see over breakfast..

BUT maybe we need to see it...

At the same time maybe the WORLD NEEDs to see equally how horrific the actions of  the  {Insert numerous countries here} atrocities are on a daily basis ...What leaders are capable of doing to their own people... Women, Children...Acid Burns, Mutilation, Rape of 6 year old girls, SLAVERY?....MAYBE then WE the People will understand the true cost all of this hate has to humanity.

We as a human race SHOULD be OUTRAGED... We claim to be "civilized" We claim to be enlightened yet we still treat each other as enemy predators.

Here are my random efforts to understand the "International Incident" that is now circulating with photos around the world....

While normal people have expressed outrage and find this practice 'grotesque, wrong, disturbing'  I would ask as humans: Who are we to cast the first stone from our glass houses?

"We the people" through our "elected representatives" (Which is supposed to be the case in America at least) have asked/allowed these young men and women to go KILL (YES KILL) other HUMANS on behalf and in the name of our country.  They are HUNTERS (A majority NOT highly trained ON/OFF Friend/Foe Kill Switch/ like our SOF teams)

This is their job.  This is what they train to do.

So you send them away from their families, kids, loved ones.  We have asked them to be the judge, jury and executioner of other HUMANS similar but usually speaking foreign tongues and wearing different types of clothing. (Just as their leaders have told them of you...) Confusing to a normal human mind to say the least.

Our Governments have deemed these other HUMANS to be a danger/menace to "our greater safety, health and well being" of OUR (supposedly) CIVILIZED society.  They send SOLDIERS to execute their strategy.


WAR IS UGLY


War is nasty, dirty, smelly disgusting It SUCKS the last of the HUMAN out of you (the one they have trained out of you).... Let's be honest here...You wonder why soldiers have such a high rate of PTSD, SUICIDE? Good grief it's not rocket science.....

It's NOT glamorous, fun or pretty. (Doesn't come with background music like in the movies)

So if ANYONE should be blamed for this disgrace it is ALL OF US.... Not some young soldier WE Trained and sent TO KILL people.  In essence these are hunting trophies.... (YUCK it curdles my blood to think that way... BUT it is the only way I can think of it) (Go where it has NOTHING to do with you being a HUMAN...Watch Humans skin Humans alive, sell them as easily as a goat, drag them through the streets (Like Mogadishu) and kill their own people with no conscience whatsoever)...

I'm not excusing it by any means... I'm only saying in my humble opinion WE NEED to take a long hard look at why we are expecting soldiers to exhibit super human psychology and "act appropriately" in such a completely inappropriate insane environment.

Until world leaders leave the safe confines of the "Waldorf Astoria" lifestyle and go spend some time "hunting" and equally being "hunted" by other HUMANS in a harsh environment...Please stop pretending that this doesn't happen on a daily basis globally... Do not make examples of a few individuals (when this is far from an isolated incidence) out to be evil and start throwing stones at glass houses.

Time For Me To Fly...

When I was a kid, I would pretend I could spread my wings and fly (Like Isis or Wonder Woman) to places I've never been.  I was never content to watch it on television or read it in a book.  I wanted to do it ;)  I still want to just do it... I have so much on my "bucket list" still left to explore and share in my life.

Although my container is a bit older and worn, I'm still that same kid.... With a glimmer in my eye, a giggle in my heart and the curiosity of a cumulative population of kindergarteners in a small country. 

I've been in this sort of ...."holding pattern" for a while now.

Not of my own accord for a majority of it...Waiting for others to give me "permission" to take off and fly again.   But, in a sense that is of my own accord, because I listened.  (It was a really wise decision for the majority of it).

However, the thoughts in my head continually echo the words of wisdom from another curious individual whose "escapades" in books have inspired my thinking for years.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~Mark Twain

So it's the 12th.... The variable inputs closed on the 1st (until this version has been thoroughly tested and ready for retooling) I gave myself until the 30th to plan.  Major execution begins sometime before or around then. I've already begun executing the smaller already well designed pieces.  It's the base jumping kind that still are in plan phase.  

Its really a relief to have an unfettered head and a completely open heart.  It's refreshing to freely be able to dedicate myself to the things that matter most to me in my life.  Life is good, I'm breathing, have all my fingers and toes, two healthy, happy exquisite Harrdegau creatures, amazing friends and an entire adventure ahead of me.... whatever it brings, I'm rolling with the changes ;)

I had totally forgotten (maybe repressed) an entire block of music from my life between the ages of 10-15 until couple of friends posted a few songs for me.  Kind of like Invictus this stuff means so many other things to me now than it did then.  Though, I am still haunted with memories of dancing around my friend Cindy's living room and getting busted by her mom for using the "Hi-Fi" turntable and blasting the speakers to Journey... LOL   Too much fun.

Last thought on that note.  I'm really really REALLY excited to see one of my oldest childhood friends soon. (Escapades to follow) She's one of those friends where we don't speak for eons because we have "real" lives... and we call and it is like no time has passed.  

I'll never forget walking off a plane in Miami... I'd been through an earthquake & a few other things and lost everything, she had been through 2 hurricanes (rode one out in a bathroom with her mom and somehow made it with only the bathroom & the roof above it still existing when the force stopped then moved back to Miami and had it all ripped away again...) both poor as crap college students and I finally made it (lots of hours waitressing, cleaning houses & studying)  to see her over spring break... and it was like we never left each others side.  We laughed, danced, stripped into and swam in the ocean at midnight and lived life large with nothing.  

Life is a journey and it is so much fun when you have awesome friends to share the ride with along the way.  It's time.... For me to fly.

Twitter Unfollowed Me.... UH UH No I DIDNT!

Problem: 

Twitter keeps un following my tweeps! 

(The average user doesn't care about Ruby or the lack of SQL, so I'll post tech light and then follow up with the XLS comparison next post)

Quick fix:

1.  Apparently the bug does not affect your lists.  (I've tested this over the past week, I haven't had an issue with it yet)

A little about lists: 

You can put people on lists without following them.   

In the past when I've been placed in "Twitter Jail" not being able to follow anymore Tweeps (but found that diamond in the rough), I wanted to make sure I continued to follow.

I simply put them into a private list as a holding pattern and then follow when I am released from Twitter Jail.

Quick Fix Solution to this irritating problem:

Place all the Tweeples into lists as an "insurance policy".  Then you don't really "lose" and you have some way of tracking the losses. 

2.  I've started testing out different stuff to manage lists but my favorite thus far:  

www.socialbro.com

If you look at the below screen shot you will see the "recently unfollowed"

The dropdown box at the top gives you some awesome flexibility.

The various interfaces can be a bit busy for an average user but has some awesome functionality when you dig into it a bit.  I've had fun playing with the dashboard.

I usually update it once per day and see how wacked out Twitter is acting on that day.

The export and compare function for the more geek heavy solution is up next.  SocialBro has an export function.

So if you combine Number 1 and Number 2 you should have a pretty accurate comparison without going deep into the next solution.

Im sure that there are really smart people that have come up with something far more elegant than my immediate band aid little solution.  If so could you share :-)

Comment below if you think there is something else I need to try to for a good solution (I'm great at breaking stuff, testing it, etc.)

Invictus ~William Ernest Henley

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

~William Ernest Henley

Things that make you go Hmmm

Random Thoughts Going Through Susan's Grey Matter:

“If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time” ~ Chinese Proverb

Clearly Communicating Rule One, Two and Three:  


Explaining the Rules (Rule One):

Date To Note: 28 April 2012 (Rule Three) 

Dear World:  

Please note April 28th=drop dead date. (Rule Three) 

No further consideration will be given to random variables post 1 April . (Rule One & Two)

Thank you, The Management 

Speak now or forever hold your peace. (Rule Two)

Mulligan Sequence On Boarding: Time To Create a New Ending.

I Miss My Neighbors: Part II

Im feeling nothing more than 140 today but I promised a few random pictures to a few people. 

The game with friends is:

Where in the world (Where's Waldo) is Susan (Carmen) San Diego Today?